Do you consider yourself a leader?  Or, do you have aspirations of leading?   I consider myself to have leadership traits and characteristics.  I enjoy leading teams and helping to motivate and encourage people.   As leaders, we need to push people.  We need to help them become more accountable and keep them on target. 

I find myself being a good leader at work, on volunteer committees, at church, but what about at home?   Husbands, what type of leader are you at home?   For me, my wife has asked that I help push her towards goals she has shared with me.  She has asked, and she expects it.   She has specifically said “I need you to Push Me.”  Many days I fail at this.  I get too busy with my own agenda.   Today I had to apologize to my wife for not leading at home like she needs.  

Guys, if your wife hasn’t yet specifically asked you to help keep her accountable in some area, today would be a good day to ask her how you can help.    Even if she says there is nothing, the act of asking her will speak volumes into her life.

[image by stevendepolo]

I wanted to pass along some links to two blogs that I follow that will help you further your quest into being a more intentional husband. 

The Marry Blogger -- How To Handle Rough Weather In Your Marriage

http://www.themarryblogger.com/2009/04/12/handling-rough-weather-marriage/

I liked this:

Keep the Skies Clear Crystal Blue in Your Marriage By:

*Paying attention to your relationship.

*Continuing to grow in your communication. If something isn’t working, change it!

*Preparing together for the week ahead, and adjusting expectations.

Todd Wilson, The Family Man -- You Can Learn A Lot From A Dummy

http://www.familymanweb.com/newsletter/you-can-learn-a-lot-from-a-dummy

Todd tells us to listen and not "fix" our wives.  Make her feel like she's number one (she is right?).

There are many different ideas of things that a man could do to be a more intentional husband.  Here are 10 ideas that I thought of that would make me a more intentional husband.

1.  Stop in the middle of your day, call your wife just to see how she is doing

2.  Send your wife a random text to let her know you're thinking of her

3.  Call a babysitter and proactively schedule a date with your wife

4.  Take off early one day from work and come home and surprise your wife

5.  Buy your wife flowers for no reason

6.  Write a poem for your wife

7.  On your next date let your wife choose everything you do 

8.  Rent your wife's favorite movie and watch it together

9.  If your wife does most of the cooking, surprise her by taking the family out for dinner instead one night

10.  Pray for and with your wife

What about you?  What other ideas do you have?

The title of this post probably makes you think I know it all.   So not true.  I'm hoping this post can be used as a discussion starter for guys, specifically husbands, that want to be more intentional in their marriage.

I was talking with a friend the other day and this topic came up and we both were scratching our heads.  Sure, we came up with a few ideas, but overall I don't have any good answers. 

Been thinking about these two verses recently.  These are pretty standard "do this" type of messages guys hear:

Ephesians 5:25 -- Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

1 Peter 3:7 -- Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

The question is:  How do you do this?   What does this look like for you?

The one thing that really stood out to me was the part about "so that nothing will hinder your prayers".   That verse is telling us if we're not intentional about our marriage and our relationship with our wife, that are prayers will be hindered.   I don't know about you, but I don't want my prayers hindered.  I think this shows us how important the marriage relationship is to God and that it is something we must constantly be intentional about.

So how are you doing at this?   Make an effort to start being more intentional today.  I know I'm going to try.  Anybody want to get a discussion going?